Sorry, this last week I have been horrible about keeping the blog updated. The last photos are from the AYN: Asian Youth Network, annual meeting held in Colombo the 18th through the 22nd. Let me first start off by explaining how I got there in the first place.

My week began on the 16th of November when I went to Battaramulla to go check out the National Youth Services Council, a government run organization under the ministry of youth affairs. It took me two hours to get to there, and much frustration as usual on the streets with men. By the time I got there it was around lunch time, I had a migraine, and just needed a break. Instead, I hit a brick wall. I went inside just to find out that they would not give me any information without a request letter from the University of Peradeniya explaining why I needed the information. Now, I have a letter that generally explains my intent that is signed by the head dean of the arts faculty, but one of the women (who was one of the directors) told me this was not enough because it didn’t inquire about gaining information specifically from their organization. REALLY??!!! They told me I needed to get another letter and fax it in to the chairman. At that time he would look my request over and contact me of he gave an approval. I asked if I could just get basic information – types of programs, numbers, etc. – that was open to the public and was available in brochures at the information booth. They said no. How can you not give out public information to the public? And I only found this out after an hour of being taken around the center from person to person to person. Ugh. What’s even funnier is that I needed permission to even see the chairman, but I have just gone to the Ministry of Youth Affairs a couple of days before and had been given a ton of information by one of the secretaries there, who is above this chairman.

So, I wasted the whole day for nothing. I got home just before dark and was so tired and frustrated I was about to smack the next man who thought it would be funny to say something to me. I swear, if I were a smoker, I would have sat outside and smoked a pack! But, luckily, I am not. So instead, when I got out of the 3 wheeler, I went into the church which is right next to my house, called St. James. I didn’t know what else to do to get the frustration out, so I went into the pew, knelt down, and prayed. Now, I have to admit that I have not prayed – truly prayed – in quite a while, and praying in frustration is not the most pious, but at least it is a start. I sat in the church for a while and prayed as hard and as truly as I could. I prayed for God to give me the strength to get me through days like this again, because I knew this would not be the last. I prayed that God would help me deal with my frustration in a positive manner and not take it out on others, even those who frustrated me. I prayed that he would give me the strength to ignore the cat calls and gestures that I faced on the street, and the words “forgive them, for they know not what they do” came into mind.

Obviously, a much more serious meaning inferred in the Bible then when applied to my life. And this further made me realize that, although I was having a horrible day, people all over the world have it much worse off than I do. I am alive, healthy, free, generally happy, cared for, and blessed. So then I thanked God for all he has given me, both bad and good, for making me who I am. I thanked him for giving me hardships so that I may know what a blessing really is when it comes. I thanked God for giving me the opportunity to be in Sri Lanka, for giving me a wonderful Sri Lankan family, and for giving me a great opportunity to learn about others and help the world. I realized that I can be the change, and God is helping me realize this. Still, after thanking God for helping me so far, I also asked God to give me a sign in the right direction for my project. It may have been a little selfish, but I asked for a sign to point me in the right direction, or at least a sign warning me that things were not going to be smooth. I ended with thanking God, whether God would give me a sign or not, for always being with me, even when I don’t realize it. Like in Footprints, the man asks God at the end of his life why, in his worst times, there were only one set of footprints in the sand. Why hadn’t God been there to help him during his struggles? God answered, “It was then that I carried you”. I left the church feeling calm and thankful for God. I was even thankful for the horrible day I had, because it showed me that life isn’t always easy and that you cannot take anything for granted. God can give, but God can also take away. I must also remember this.

So, the next day I carried on my information hunting and traveled to Battaramulla to see the Lankan Youth Organization Network. At first I was quite discouraged, because when I got there I could not find it. The street it is on is notorious for being completely mis-numbered, such as 753 coming after 700 but right next door to 23. I asked a 3 wheel driver and he took me to the post office to look up the place. We finally found it behind a grocery store, but when I went in they told me that the media director was not in and they didn’t speak much English. I almost got upset (not with them, obviously, but just at the situation), but then I remembered what I had said the night before. I asked God for a sign. Maybe this was it. It wasn’t what I wanted or hoped for, but you don’t always get what you want. So I thanked them and told them I would come back later in the day to see if he had arrived. As I went to leave, not knowing where to go for the day, the man drove up. What luck! The man’s name is Nishad, and he is one of the nicest people I have met in Sri Lanka. He invited me into his office and said that he was really busy, but that he would see me. I know I should have called in advance, but I was running out of time and needed to visit places I had on my list. Anyway, perhaps it was fate that I hadn’t called in advance because it turns out that he was really busy planning weeklong meeting for the Asian Youth Network that began the next day. He was planning it and had to make last minute places, pick people up from the airport, etc., and yet he made time for me. In fact, I was lucky I had come on that day because he invited me to attend the meeting! Wow! What a break. I went from being stonewalled to getting a special invitation printed out with my name on it! I guess God did answer my pray after all. After getting the invitation and as much information about the organization as possible, I went home to study up and get ready for the meeting the next morning. But first, once I got out of the 3 wheeler, I went up to the church again and prayed.

(FOR THOSE OF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN READING ABOUT RELIGION, MY EXPERIENCES, AND MY IDEAS, FEEL FREE TO SKIP DOWN A BIT, BUT I DO RECOMMEND READING ON J)

Now I am sure many of my friends and even some family who are reading this are either skeptical or astonished. Bryanna, the one who is always questioning EVERYTHING about religion, is praying in church every day. Yep. Believe it. I may not know everything about my faith, and may never be able to define it fully, but I think this is the way it is supposed to be. I may be a skeptic, but I believe that searching for faith doesn’t mean being a total non-conformist and refusing to accept certain aspects of a faith or religion. This would be an atheist perspective, which I respect but do not subscribe to. I have never been an atheist. I have always believed that there is something out there, the unmoved mover or first cause, that is the master-piece of the puzzle of life. Do I believe anyone can fully define this?– no. This is why I have such trouble with religions that preach the “only truth” and “only way.” If God or whatever name given, is an infinite being/idea and we as humans are finite, then we cannot define the infinite in finite terms. It is logically IMPOSSIBLE. We can only define God in the finite terms that we have, which is why children think that heaven is up and beyond the known universe and why God is referred to as a “he”. These are not bad things, and are not necessarily wrong, but they certainly aren’t proven to be fact. Just because the Bible refers to God as the father, doesn’t mean that there is a human man sitting in space who created the earth. Finite or human terms are used to make the ideas understandable for humans, but that cannot be completely accurate. Like the translation of the Bible from Hebrew to English is inaccurate at times because there are certain words and meanings in Hebrew that do not exist in English, so too is the translation from infinite ideas to finite words. So, in my mind, if you subscribe to a faith that professes to know the full and only truth of God and salvation, you are saying that you know the infinite, and are therefore equal to God. This is quite heretical, don’t you think?

So, as you can see, I have not changed my views on fully accepting any man-made religious institution, but I think there is a way to be faithful to God, or whatever you choose to name or define this unmoved mover, without sacrificing the skeptic inside you. Take me praying for instance. I still have no conclusion as to how God helps me or if he (see, man-made!) even helps me at all, but I believe he does. I don’t know if there is a plan for us all that is predetermined at birth, or is built as we go along. As a free individual, I would like to think that I have the freedom to choose, and I believe I do, but I also believe that God set each of us out on a general course. Can we deviate? I don’t know. Does God know who my children’s spouses will be at this very moment? I don’t believe so. Again, I am ok with admitting that I do not have these answers. But the answer I do have is this: I prayed to God, the infinite being that I define in my mind, with all the mystery surrounding him (or her or it), and God answered me back. Now, perhaps he didn’t, and it just happened to be lucky of the draw, but I choose to believe that God played a part in all of it. And what is the problem with believing this? My creed, as long as I live is the Golden Rule: Treat others as you wish to be treated. This belief does not break this. I am not forcing other people to subscribe to my ideas. I am not taking away others’ freedoms. Additionally, there is no repercussion if I am wrong. If I am wrong, and God is not answering my prayers or, even more, if there is no God, then where is the harm in praying to the sky? If it makes me feel better, and brings no harm to anyone else, than it is a good thing. And if I happen to be right, then I have also shown gratitude towards my maker. It really is a win-win situation.

And due to this crazy analysis of my faith, which – yes – I take the time to do frequently, I have begun going into the church each day after a hard day’s work and thanking God for blessing me with all the ups and downs that come with living. I try to attend church on Sundays as well, but to me this is not as important as praying when I feel the urge or need to pray. I believe that organized religions can do great things, but I do not think that it is a sin to not follow the Catholic dogma word for word. Dogma is man-made, as is much else about religion, and I believe that all man-made aspects are a choice. I choose to attend church because I experience calm in the atmosphere, and this helps me connect with God. Confession, on the other hand, does not help me connect with God, so I do not go. I would rather volunteer an hour of my time helping others that sit in a confessional booth or listen to certain priests drone on about their personal takes on the Bible and present them as facts. I believe that the former is more of what Jesus would do.

(END OF RELIGION SECTION)

So, after my crazy tangent, back to the original story. The next day, I went to the conference at BMICH in Colombo 7. There were representatives from a few youth organizations, politicians from both major political parties, young politicians, members of parliament, and delegates from Moldova, Sweden, Philippines, and Cambodia, as well as a number of young people. Also, Anarkalli, a famous actress turned politician, was there and I got to meet her. We got started a bit late, but I was able to hear from all sorts of people about the plight of youth in Sri Lanka, the creation of the youth policy, and what Sri Lanka was doing to improve the situation. After the opening ceremony, I stood around and spoke with a number of people about my research and their organizations. I made friends with one of the politicians and a few of the international delegates that invited me to lunch. Nishad was really nice and let me come along. He even bought me lunch, although I did try several times to pay. I got to discuss youth organizations and other fun intellectual topics over lunch, and made friends with some more of the delegates. After lunch, Rior, one of the delegates from the Philippines, invited me to their meeting with the SL-UNFO: Sri Lankan United Nations Friendship Organization. Again, Nishad was nice enough to let me come. I felt so bad tagging along, but no one seemed to mind, and it was really helping me with my projects. After all, the organization that we had the meeting with was one of the organizations on my list. I was able to meet more important people at this meeting, including members and directors of peace keeping organizations and people who worked under the UN. It was an open forum about youth organization and the creation of a youth policy, so all the information said was helpful and impertinent to my project.

It was really late when we left the place and I was worried about getting a 3W home safely after dark, as I was in Dehiwalla and I needed to go to Modera, about an hour’s drive. Luckily, Nishad had a friend that lived around that area, so he hopped in the 3 wheeler with me. Apparently he is an actor and has a new movie opening in Colombo next month. He invited me to go see it, but I won’t be here. He also invited me to diner and to his house in Nuwera Eliya, but I politely said no. I like to keep my professional life separate from my personal life. I did, however, get a free 3 wheeler ride home from it!

The next day I was supposed to go to their hotel near Battaramulla, which is East of Colombo, but I couldn’t find a way to get there, so I had to cancel. I was discoraged, but reminded myself that I was lucky enough to have been invited to the opening ceremony and should be satisfied with what I had. Later on that day, while visiting auntie’s cousins of cousins nearby, I met some further related relatives who just happened to live in Battaramulla. They had come in to visit and were leaving that day to go back home. I told them how I needed to go to Battaramulla too, and they invited me to spend the night at their house. Problem solved! They got me a 3 wheeler in the morning from the main road and I was able to go to the second day of the conference. (Better yet, I got to spend time in a huge house with 5 tiny kittens and their mother. CHUUUTTTTIIII BBBAAAABBBBAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!! (Cute babies!))

At the conference, I hung out with the delegates, got to learn about the steps in lobbying and creating a national youth policy, and met Charitha, the Director of the Samadhi Community Development Foundation in Matara (in the South). Charitha’s organization is a member of LYON (Lankan Youth Organization Network) who was holding the conference for the Asian Youth Network. The Samadhi Foundation is a small organization that focuses on skill training and getting jobs for youth in the private sector. They hold classes to teach IT skills, Tamil, and English, and have another branch in a different region that teaches vocational skills such as screen printing and sewing. Knowing my overly friendly personality, of course I made friends, and he kindly invited me to come see his organization in Matara when I was free. WOW! So now not only did I get to see LYON, the major network of youth organizations works, but I also got a chance to see an organization at the grassroots level.

So, that is where I am now. Yesterday I arrived in Matara and Charitha picked me up from the bus station. He drove me to my hotel and then called his chairman to set up a meeting to see me that night. It just so happened that they were both heading to Colombo that night because of some meetings, so we had to meet before they left. Well, not only did I get to meet the chairman of the Samadhi Foundation, but I come to find out that he is also the Head of the Opposition Forces in the Matara District and is has worn awards for being that most outstanding youth politician in the country. Additionally, he also holds the record for the most popular votes in Sri Lankan political history. And he came to my little guest house to answer my questions….wow. Thank you Charitha!! He was a wonderful person to interview, and it helped that he had spent a number of years being a journalist and anchor on two of the most popular tv stations in Sri Lanka. He also called his secretary in the office to schedule a time for them to come over the next day and pick me up to visit the center.

This morning, the 26th – Thanksgiving in the States – I went snorkeling with Titus, God of the Sea. At the hotel that I am staying at, they offer snorkeling with this local man named Titus. He is a great man, who has been taking people snorkeling for over 25 years. He picked me up at 10am with snorkeling gear and we went snorkeling in the Indian Ocean for 2 hours. I saw a ton of fish, drank way too much salt water, and burnt my back a bit (but hey-now I am closer in color to malli!). It was an amazing experience and it only cost me $13! Wow! Oh – and don’t worry grandma – Titus gave me a chunk of Aloe Vera from his tree, so I will be fine!

After snorkeling, I was able to visit the center, ask some of the people working some questions, and got a great video that Buddhika, the chairman/politician/anchorman/what-could-this-man-not-do?, made for his political campaign. All the people were extremely nice and helpful. Now, I am heading to Galle to visit Jen for a day, then up to Colombo to finish up the research. I hope to be back in Kandy by the 2nd so I can start writing this out!!!



If you have reached this point, you are either a true friend or really bored. Either way, I’m sorry and thank you.

Love from abroad,

Bry