Self Love

In my life I have realized that I am too selfless for my own good. Usually, one sees selflessness as a virtue, and I once did too, but I have come to realize that, like everything else, anything in excess is not good. I need to realize that I am not Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Buddha, or Jesus. I am a twenty year old young woman who must understand her path and know her limits. I am not these people and I should therefore not follow their path, but make my own. One thing missing in my life that is vital is self love. Because of my over-zealous selflessness, I have ended up hurting and neglecting myself.

Unlike Buddhist thought, my journey to enlightenment must be enlightenment of the self. I must learn to love myself, meditate in the beauty which is my body and mind, and discover who I really am. Why do I not love myself? Why do I ignore my own desires and needs, yet think others deserve me to fulfill theirs? Do I really believe I am not worthy of the way I treat others? Why? Is this because of patriarchy, my mother’s abuse, Western society? Why do I let these things shape who I am and my self love? They shouldn’t. I am who I am first and foremost because of me – and I have the power to change and grow on my own.

My weight is my weight because I have neglected it – because I didn’t respect myself enough to care. If I truly believe in the golden rule, I should also treat myself in the same way I treat others. I would not neglect another person’s body like I have my own. My body should be treated as sacred, because it is the instrument needed to live and act. If I ever want to make an impact on others in this world, I must take care of myself and my body first. If I say I can’t do something, it is not that I can’t, but that I am not giving myself enough credit in my abilities. I can do anything (within logic) that I can set my mind to if I try hard enough. I am a strong, young, living human being and I must celebrate life as much as I can when I am so capable. I can run – I just must keep trying and not give up. I can sing on stage, climb a mountain to the top, play any sport I choose, fly a plane, travel the world, and anything else I put my mind to. I must work harder and have faith in myself. This all starts with love and appreciation,

And why should I love and appreciate myself? Because I am worth it. I am a beautiful and smart woman. I have bright green eyes, long black eyelashes, and thick shapely brows. I have soft brown hair with natural waves and highlights. I have white straight teeth that form a great smile. I have a marvelous voice, an addicting laugh, and my presence makes people feel at ease. Intellectually, I am a scholar at heart and I am competent in my academics. I am determined, passionate, and organized. I am friendly, optimistic, great with people, and easy going. I am a good listener, selfless friend, and can make a mean pumpkin pie. I love my family very much and am loyal to those who are loyal to me. I love children and they love me.

I am one amazing individual and I must learn to accept this as truth, because without it I have no ability to change.